‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin’ them texts.Despite all his cryin’ and beggin’ and pleadin’,
Tiger’s wife went investin’ – bought a new home in Sweden.And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
“If you’re getting’ laid then I’m getting’ paid.”She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year. (Author unknown)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the Senate
Senator Reid went a-shopping, to get another Mike Bennett;The goodies were there just like a new boat,
In hopes that Bob Nelson would give up his vote;The citizens were shopping in Malls full of wares,
And hopes for a better year were in all their stares;And Landrieu with her millions, and Reid with his tribe,
Had just settled down to finalize the bribe;When out in the Country three arose such a clatter,
Reid went into spin mode just like a Mad Hatter.Away to the podium he slithered just like a snake,
And lied to the good citizens with a smile that was fake.The sun had finally fell on his bill that had been dark
Gave proof to the world that this wasn’t a lark,And what to our astonishment should he say,
“We will vote on this Bill in just over a day.”With a process like this, so fast and so quick,
You would be right if you thought this a bad trick. (Dan Burdish)
