I Swear — It’s True!

NN&V Exclusive

(Lori Piotrowski) – Obama failed his constitutional law class at Columbia University. Not once, not twice, but five times!

I know this because a friend of a friend called a friend who told him. This last fellow had attended college with the president. And he said that the president never got above a C! (Even after taking a class five times! That class must be really, really, really difficult!)

This friend of a friend of a friend must remain anonymous. I gave my word that I wouldn’t divulge his identity.

Yes, he is real. My friend of a friend told me he exists.

Yes, he did attend Columbia. My friend of a friend of the friend in question said that his school records are open for public inspection. But, I don’t feel the need to call up the Columbia Office of the Registrar to verify that. I trust him, and you should too, because I’m telling you it is so.

Isn’t that enough of a reason?

I also found out that the president didn’t attend class much. In fact, and it is a fact because my friend of a friend of a friend said it is, playing hooky was more entertaining than sitting in a lecture hall listening to a professor drone on and on. I’d think we could all agree with that point.

So, remember when you tell others and when you link to this story, this is all true. According to my friend of a friend of a friend!