(Chuck Muth) – Saturday night’s sold-out “Death & Taxes” fundraising dinner/show at the Italian-American Club for our Pigpen Project was everything I’d hoped and more. The Laugher Unlimited folks who put on the murder-mystery-comedy production were a riot – especially D.D., the ditzy blond hostess. And yes, there were Alec Baldwin references. Early in the show, the hitman, Sal – who was hired by the killer and mixed and mingled with the unsuspecting crowd during the cocktail reception – got taken down by Lt. Eric Post, the police detective wearing Reno 911-like shorty-shorts. Lt. Post then began interviewing audience-member witnesses, trying to find out who hired the hitman. Here he is interviewing Ray Serrano – who D.D. hilariously kept incorrectly referring to as “Don Jr.” – with our friend April Becker trying, without success, to keep a straight face…
After the hitman was carted off by the volunteer pall-bearers recruited from audience members, the unknown killer decided to take things into their own hands. Lisa – a real estate agent and supposed prospective congressional candidate I’d been introducing around – then got poisoned. (Cue: pall bearers.) While Lt. Post continued interviewing audience members about the murder, Amy – a faux undercover reporterette from Jon Ralston’s liberal news blog – got stabbed. (Cue: pall bearers again) We later learned that Amy had discovered who the killer was and was blackmailing them. In the end, the killer was revealed by Lt. Post and taken down with one shot after she threatened to shoot me in a fit of jealousy over my support of Lisa’s candidacy. All in good fun. No one was actually harmed in the production of the show. Who done it? Former Assemblywoman Annie Black, who put on an Oscar-worthy performance at the end.
In her closing statement admitting guilt, Annie explained that she was furious that I had recruited a “bimbo” to run for Congress in the seat she ran for last year.
“I have a question for you, Chuck,” she snarled with righteous indignation while holding a gun on Lt. Post (and trying to keep from bursting out laughing). “I know you worked for Dennis Hof, but are you recruiting ALL your political candidates from the Bunny Ranch now?” That one really broke up the crowd. Fortunately, as Annie turned her gun on me, Lt. Post took her out before she could take me out!
To say a good time was had by all would be an understatement. What a blast. And all for a good cause; to clean up Nevada’s “dirty” voter rolls. Thank you to everyone who joined us. If you were there and had a good time, please shoot me a review (chuck@chuckmuth.com) that I can post on the website once the photos come back. Now the only question is: How are we gonna top this one for our next event? I have some ideas. Stay tuned, Batfans… Koda-Chrome, Welcome Home When it comes to the rescue, Jim Dandy’s got nothing on me. As you know, I had to put my “Snowball” down a week ago. And I want to again thank everyone who was kind enough to send words of condolence and shared your own personal stories about man’s best friend. Well, on Thursday I got a call from my eldest daughter, Kristen, who works at a veterinary hospital. Seems one of their patients had been given a horrible choice: Get rid of your dog or get kicked out of your apartment. And the 2-year-old Husky-Pomeranian mix, “Koda,” looked uncannily like Snowball. He was purchased from a reputable breeder, has all his shots, has been neutered, and is house-trained. Would I be interested in adopting him? Well, that was a little quick so soon after sending Snowball to the Big Dog Park in the sky. I really wasn’t ready for a new dog, and the family had discussed maybe getting a puppy down the road that would be raised from the beginning around our Noah’s Ark of critters and wouldn’t hurt them. And I’ve also always wanted an Alaskan Malamute. Already have a name picked out for him: “Khan.” But I’m a sucker for dogs in a pickle. So I arranged for Koda’s owner to bring him over for a sleepover to see how he’d do with my other daughter’s dog, our two cats, four rabbits, a parrot, a chinchilla and a desert tortoise. The poor lady was, as you can imagine, quite distraught and emotional. Put in this terrible position, all she wanted was to make sure Koda went to a good home. And I assured her that if we took him in, she could come visit anytime. He’s a sweet dog, but man, is he a barker. And he needs some leash work. But, like Snowball, he spent the afternoon lying in my office next to my desk while I worked…
At night, he hopped up right next to me while watching TV (he seems to have a particular fondness for the Cartoon Channel – and I’m not talking about CNN)…
Then the acid test… The alpha-cat we rescued years ago, King, generally “lives” in my bedroom. And yes, he sleeps in the bed with us at night. Would Koda and King live-and-let-live and share quarters in peaceful co-existence? On first contact, Koda took a sniff. King proceeded to give him a smack across the snout. Fortunately, the 40-pound interloper didn’t retaliate and rip King to shreds. He just moved on to something more interesting and less combative. At bedtime – after barking non-stop from being in a strange place and obvious separation anxiety from his owner – Koda finally hopped up in the bed, laid down at my feet and went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, King and Koda were lying next to each other…
Dogs and cats living together. Could the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man be far behind? Now, here’s the kicker… Since Koda’s owner bought him from a breeder, she gave us his papers. And guess what his father’s name was? Snowball !!! Well, some things are just meant to be, right? So guess who’s the newest “rescue” member of the Muth Clan?
Seems happy. Let the adventures begin! FAMOUS LAST WORDS “I don’t understand much about politics…” – Liberal blubber-blogger Jon Ralston, 1/2/20 Mr. Muth is president of Citizen Outreach, publisher of Nevada News & Views, and founder of CampaignDoctor.com. You can sign up for his conservative, Nevada-focused e-newsletter at MuthsTruths.com. His views are his own.
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