What the Heck?

(Chuck Muth) – The Nevada Republican Party sent out a convoluted press release yesterday, obviously on behalf of the Joe Heck for Congress campaign, that I can’t make heads or tails of even after reading the darned thing four times.

In it the party first demands an apology from Rep. Dina Titus – the Democrat incumbent and Heck’s opponent in the fall – for an alleged attack on Heck.

Except….the release doesn’t explain what the attack was, where it was made and exactly what was said.

And folks, would you PLEASE stop “demanding” actions that you know darned well won’t be complied with and you have no means of enforcing? The Republican Party is in no position to “demand” anything from Titus. And what is it going to do after Titus tells them to pound sand? Hold their breath until they turn blue? Stamp their feet? Gimme a break.

Anyway, the release then accuses Titus of attacking Heck “with dishonest accusations and hypothetical scenarios.”

Except….no explanation is given for what was supposedly said that was “dishonest” or a “hypothetical scenario.”

It then wanders off into seemingly unrelated issues dealing with “sustainable jobs,” the stimulus bill, tax cuts, tax hikes and exploding deficits before declaring that Nevadans “will not tolerate her (Titus) complete and flagrant lies about Dr. Heck.”

Except….there’s no description of what Titus supposedly said that is supposedly a “complete and flagrant” lie.

The release then references what Titus supposedly said “in the interview” – without ever saying what interview, with whom or when it took place. It only cryptically references Titus supposedly using the words “scamming” and “triple-dipping” without bothering to explain exactly what she supposedly said and what she was supposedly referencing and in what context.

The next paragraph indicates that the accusation about “triple-dipping” has something to do with Joe Heck’s company, but I’ll be darned if I can figure out what the heck they’re talking about. It slams Titus for her “amazing arrogance and stunning lack of basic knowledge of Dr. Heck, with no regard for the truth.”

Except….again, we have no idea what it is they’re accusing Titus of accusing Heck of doing.

From there, and in the exact same paragraph, the release somehow wanders into Titus somehow making “an issue out of Dr. Heck’s service to his country while working for the Department of Defense.”

Except….again, we’re left to figure out what the heck Titus supposedly said about Heck that made an issue of his service to our country on our own. I’m guessing even the Great Carnac would have trouble figuring this one out.

The release concludes thusly: “Dina Titus should be ashamed of herself and owes an apology to Dr. Heck and all who put our country ahead of themselves.”

Now, I’m just speculating here, but in reading this release I’d bet you a dollar to a donut that no one from the Nevada Republican Party wrote this press release. I’ll bet you someone from the Heck campaign drafted this flapdoodle and asked the party to send it out under its name to allow Dr. Heck to remain “positive” and above the fray.

So the person who really owes someone an apology is whoever drafted this embarrassing release and talked the Nevada GOP into sending it out for them.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for campaigns occasionally using the party as the “attack dog.” However, at least make sure the attack from the attack dog is something understandable and verifiable.

If the Heck campaign sends something this bad to the party again for distribution, the party ought to just stamp it “Return to Sender.”