The Joe Isuzu of United States Senators

(Chuck Muth) – Not much new came out of the “Nightline” story on the Ensign scandal last night. The brouhaha between the Ensign and his former best friend – whose wife Ensign suffered a trouser malfunction with – is at a standstill.

Ensign refuses to bow out and step down and Doug Hampton has been unable to gain ground in forcing him out – especially with no one apparently pursuing the matter aggressively in any kind of official capacity.

It appears now that the only way for Hampton to bring Johnny Casino down is if his wife, Cindy Hampton, finally comes forward and speaks. If she validates her husband’s story and says she felt pressured in the situation in any way thanks to Ensign’s power and position….it’ll be lights out for Nevada’s self-righteous/self-absorbed Republican U.S. Senator.

Speaking of which, in response to the Nightline story last evening, Ensign released only a short statement, saying that Hampton’s allegations “are full of half-truths and untruths.”

Really, John?

In that case maybe you’d do your constituents the favor of appearing before the Nevada media and answering some legitimate questions, such as, “Exactly which allegations Doug Hampton made are half-truths and which ones are untruths and exactly why are they untrue?” Or are you just going to continue stonewalling us?

Here’s the thing I don’t get. Doug Hampton is angry and clearly out to settle a score with John Ensign. Then again, he certainly has reason to be angry and there is definitely a score to be settled here.

But the fact that he’s angry has people questioning whether on not he’s telling the truth when in fact the person whose word shouldn’t be trusted is the guy who cheated on his wife and kids, betrayed his best friend, lied to his staff, lied to his colleagues, cost Republicans eight U.S. Senate seats last year, had mommy and daddy pay off the family of the woman he was cheating with, and refuses to answer any questions about any of it?

Those of us over the half-century mark will recall a series of television commercials many years ago for automaker Isuzu. The star of the commercial was a car salesman who was a pathological liar who lied every time he opened his mouth.

• “You have my word on it.”
• “If I’m lying, may lightning hit my mother.” (“Good luck, Mom!” appears on screen.)
• “It has more seats than the Astrodome!”
• “Hi, I’m Joe Isuzu and I used my new Isuzu pickup truck to carry a 2,000 pound cheeseburger.”
• “The Isuzu Impulse: faster than a speeding—[catches a bullet in his teeth]—well, you know.”

That guy had nothing on John Ensign.