(Rich Galen, Mullings.com) – I think I have figured out the phenomenon known as Donald Trump.
Like everyone else inside the Beltway and within the boroughs of Manhattan and Brooklyn, NY, I have been wrong at every turn about the political career of Donald Trump.
When he announced he was going to have an announcement, I predicted with confidence he would not run. Umm
When he made his idiotic immigration policy the first centerpiece of his campaign, I said he was through. Yeah, right.
When he said he didn’t think much of Sen. John McCain as a prisoner of war because he liked people who had not become prisoners of war, I said the nation would surely turn on Trump. Didn’t happen.
When made those dreadful comments about Megyn Kelly, I said, “Ah HAH!” That will do it. He can’t be ugly to the Princess of the Right and get away with it. Even Roger Ailes caved.
Throughout all that I said he was nothing more than a burlesque show novelty act and he would never be the Republican nominee, and …
I was wrong at every turn.
A couple of weeks ago I said something else about Trump on the air with great confidence. The studio host said she was surprised I spoke in such absolute terms; that others were now hedging their bets about Trump.
I said they were protecting their reputations. I’ve been wrong so many times, I have no reputation to protect, so I might as well swing for the fences.
So, here’s the deal with Trump:
He speaks exactly the way real people do when they’re at a bar, a restaurant, leaning on the door jam of an office or over the wall of a cube. He says exactly what average Americans (read “Voters”) are thinking they would do – or would want to do – if they were President..
I would kick his butt all the way back to Moscow, stopping only to let the Ukrainians have a couple of whacks at him along the way. Then I’d send all the Syrian, Iranian, Iraqi, Pakistani and whoever refugees that are making their way to Germany – to Russia and let him deal with them.
Wanna know what I would do with those throat-slitting slimeballs? I’d send our bombers up and use them like we use water on a forest fire: They’d carpet bomb from Syria to Mosul; turn around, and bomb from Mosul to Syria. And we’d keep bombing them until there was nothing left of the desert but glass.
First thing, I’d take those money-hungry SOBs to court and sue them for every sports car, every speed boat, and every house in the Hamptons they’ve bought since they screwed us all back in 2007 and 2008. Then I’d build some Trump car dealerships and Trump boatyards (He already owns Trump real estate) and sell them at cut-rate prices to the people whose money they stole.
I would put the Federal Departments and Agencies that we don’t need, out of business. I would put them into bankruptcy and shut them down like casinos in Atlantic City.
Why are you and I paying some rich guys in California and New York thousands and thousands of dollars to buy electric cars at $100,000 per? When we’re going to those giant used car dealerships and looking for something our kids will actually get into so we can drive them to the mall?If someone wants a Tesla Whatever, let them pay for it themselves and, by the way, stop letting them buy their way into the HOV lanes that were built with our tax dollars.
This is fun, but we know that no matter how good these things sound, they are far more complex and complicated, and require more than a bumper strip to fully explore and explain.
Nevertheless, here’s a good idea. Write ONE “Trumpism” (not 20, no matter how clever you are), send it to me, and I’ll publish the best half-dozen or so in an upcoming Mullings.
Mr. Galen is a veteran political strategist and communications consultant. He blogs at www.Mullings.com.